Control centers on the things that are most vital, most at the core. Things like food, sex, health, shelter, national safety, the safety of your family, etc. So whoever it is, your parents, the church, the government, they create the guilt and judgment about sex. It makes people controllable. Bam! You are already guilty because you think about sex. You need forgiveness. Same with food. You make people want food and other substances. You make them want certain foods by getting them accustomed, addicted, or dependent. You control the source of food, promote the idea that your product will bring fulfillment and happiness, then once the need is there, charge money for it, tax it. It is no coincidence that tobacco and alcohol are two of the most addicting substances on earth and most taxed.
Another example: if you make people buy and own land just to live, then apply taxes and thousands of statutes and codes which limit self-reliance and require perpetual payment – that’s hilarious. People actually agree to pay for land. How can you really own a piece of land? Nobody owns it in the first place. There’s no human being on Earth that can actually own land. There might be some papers that say it’s true. There might be some law or idea that governs that, but there’s no real legitimate truth to it. And if at any point or any time Nature wants to call it back, all of that ownership will be just completely destroyed. In one breeze, in one wave, in one rumble, it’s all destroyed.
So this control is taking place. Most of the desire for sex is coming from: the lack of it, for one. But the lack is coming from a deeper core: wanting to be loved, wanting to be sensual, but never having a loving and sensual life. For many people, the only time they ever get close to that is through sex. Once you mature enough to have sex, you have this experience and you’re like “Oh, that felt good, man that was real sensual. . .Whoa! That’s soft! That’s warm. That’s wet.” Whether you actually come to the word sensual, you’re having a semi-sensual experience. Some people are having a more sensual experience than others, and some people are just jacking off inside of you.
Still, even for them it’s probably the most sensual they ever get. So whether you’re high on the spectrum of sensuality or not, sex is likely the most sensual part of your life. Unless you’re a mother who has had that experience breastfeeding. But you have to have the sex experience first. So until then, it’s probably that sexual experience.
A lot of people then develop a dependency. Just like taking cocaine or shooting heroin. You feel really good and that’s why you do it. But then all of a sudden, because your attitude is of scarcity and disconnection, it crystallizes that way. It’s like sex is a scarce commodity, highly coveted when available. This happens to a greater or lesser degree depending on the person.
The craving for sex comes from the lack of it, the suppression of it, and the dependency on it. It’s a dysfunctional reality. When someone has just had sex or just had an orgasm, there is temporary fulfillment. No more desire for sex.
Like with food. When you’re hungry and you eat a huge meal you are full and no longer desire to eat. When you become aware that this is what happens, you can begin to explore the nature of your craving and desire. There is the basic human need for love and sustenance, and then there is craving. Without any food or sensuality, the body starves. But craving, the body can live without that.
What is love? And what is sensuality without sex? What is it like to feel good?
We can have sensual experiences all the time – take a shower and get the water temperature just right. Rub your body. Rub your naked skin. Use a sugar rub or use some goat milk soap you know? There, that’s the thing – you don’t even have to create it! It’s already a sensual experience waiting to happen. Just tune in, relax and really enjoy the experience~*~
How many people are taking showers? They turn on the shower. They wash their hair, they soap up, they scrub their feet, they get out, they blow dry their hair, they put on their makeup and they go to work. They’re doing it but not really experiencing it, not really milking the sweet nectar of potential. You’re taking a shower but you’re not having a sensual experience. And it’s not that it can’t be, it’s because you’re not taking the time or making the priority to have a sensual experience.
Eating food can be an extremely sensual experience. Your mouth is quite potentially the most sensitive system you have as far as touch and taste. Suck on a Popsicle. Have a sensual experience. Make some food that’s just so amazing you have a mouth-gasm. Take it up a notch by eating with your fingers or feed another with your fingers or eat off of someone’s body. That’s a very sensual experience and it can be fulfilling. And not only is it fulfilling because it’s a sensual experience, but it’s also because you’re now fulfilling one of the built- in aspects of a human animal, which is the desire for food. That’s actually what takes up most of an animal’s life: the search for and/or the eating of food. A cow or a horse spends all day long sometimes grazing as do many foraging animals.
Here’s another really interesting and amazing thing. Just like 99% of your sex life is in your head, 99% of your experience with food is also in your head. How much time do you spend thinking about, earning for, buying, preparing, cleaning up food? How much time do you spend in the process of food versus the actual eating of the food? Let’s not forget all of the resources that feed the eating habit – every dollar spent, dishes and utensils, the cost of owning a refrigerator, a dishwasher, water during every step of the process, soap, cookbooks, the food itself, the gas to get you to the store. . .! And on top of that, the hours you work to pay for it all.
The actual experience of eating is 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, maybe 45 minutes to an hour if you really take your time to have a sit down meal at a restaurant. Most eating experiences don’t even last anywhere close to 30 minutes. Like Sex. Fast food. You wanna just stop in. Get off. Go on your way.