It is just amazing how many ideas there are! So many there is no way to quantify them. Our world is a series of ideas (just ask Humprey Davy). As long as we remember this fact, the world is a playground. But if we aren’t careful, if we forget, if we take the magic out of the world, if we start believing in iron-clad rules, rigidly determined systems, institutions and structures, then every idea is a potential hell. Would you rather wake up thinking “these are all my obligations, oh well, better get to it. . .,” or “what game shall we play today?” This recognition is part of the essence of the New Paradigm.
Personally, I feel it is very important to interact and engage authentically and transparently – that’s who I am to the core (and the book of my life is very open). When I express my will, my opinion, I do so without taint of anger or resentment except in the rare case that that is what is authentically true. Believe me – I can express myself with force – but that comes from the honesty and conviction of my words, not the need to guilt or control people. So commonly I’m met with disagreement or judgment or conflict or confrontation, and that’s okay. I would rather be clear and honest 100% of the time and risk coming up against this opposition than allow myself to be tripped up by fear or hesitation, or by getting caught up in games of denial, supposed to, have to, or should. Life is not very powerful when living within the judgment, expectation, and ideas of others. I would trade a lifetime of pretending in order to gain approval, for one day of true fulfilled raw existence~*~
Everything is relative, and denial to one person may not seem like it to another. I often point out denial to individuals only to be met with great resistance. Yet there is denial in contrast to what I am aware of – an existence that’s so free, so enjoyable, so abundant, so responsible, and so capable you almost wouldn’t believe it. In the hundreds of hours of talks I have given about parenting I have often said that “every parent is abusing their children.” Of course people don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “how can I abuse my child as much as possible today.” It’s a very subtle thing that comes up. In fact, most people’s parents, most people in general no matter what the subject, the stance, the proposition, are acting in the earnest belief that they are making an honorable decision, the right decision, the best decision. But the abuse is happening in the form of corporal punishment, enforced schooling, in dictating certain expectations, in unconscious or neglectful parenting. . .
Denial is not something that’s happening actively, it’s happening subconsciously, unconsciously. It happens because being a child was very difficult and painful, because being alive feels painful. Most people compartmentalize those memories into fragmented, buried parts of the psyche so they don’t have to address the pain, the intensity, the fear, everything that sucks. That requires denial. You purposely decide to not look at that. And you get accustomed to looking away. When time and time again you are scolded, punished or bribed away from authentic raw expression, it is natural to escape into alternate places. Denying, forgetting, and escaping the world -TV, video games, and drugs are so convenient for this. It is a defense mechanism to deal with the suffocating pain of being alive in this world.
At one point in time, everyone who is in denial went there because they wanted to. And they chose to because life is so painful. Getting up to an alarm every day (if it’s against one’s true will) – is painful. School, homework, chores, practice, church, the boss, yard work, debt. Without denial – it’s all unbearable. In the real truth of the moment – no way. Yet so many people would rather be, and choose to be in denial rather than confronting the reality they are consenting to. In denial, they live unconscious, zombified lives full of distractions – TV, alcohol, prescriptions, entertainment, pleasure, video games, etc. As I have said, these things are not inherently bad. Psychoactive chemicals for one can be used destructively or as a tool of awakening to a New Paradigm of Potential. It is the state of Consciousness from which they engage that dictate the actual importance and meaning of the action. When that state is denial rather than honesty, these behaviors manifest. ~*~
People are so used to being in denial in their own lives that it naturally extends to larger realities. They remain blind to the truth about the agricultural system, the economic system, wage slavery, prisons, food, the environment, warfare – because they don’t want to know, because they know that it’s horrible! The truth is self-evident. When you know the truth, no one really argues with you. Most people don’t argue with the truth because they know it’s true. They choose denial instead.
In order to come out of that whole perpetual cycle of denial, we have to be willing to face the darkness, face the fear, face the pain. Most people are scared – afraid of the fear. That’s where most people are, and it’s like being in limbo – the sneaking suspicion that you are miserable, but lacking the awareness to know if it’s true. At least if you’re aware that you’re in hell, you have the potential to improve it, to ascend out of it.
So the reality is: if you want to actually live, you want to actually be free, you want to actually be responsible, you want to actually experience an empowered existence, you will have to start facing the truth. You’re going to have to start looking at what is. The truth is both dark and light, ugly and beautiful, painful and blissful. Start letting go of complacency and laziness. Let go of all this need. You don’t need anything. You’ve got to let go of these comforts; you’ve got to let go of the security. Start living, start breathing. Take a risk, take a chance, try something new. ANYTHING but the insanity ∞§∞